"I wish I’d partied a little less. People always say ‘be true to yourself.’ But that’s misleading, because there are two selves. There’s your short term self, and there’s your long term self. And if you’re only true to your short term self, your long term self slowly decays."
"I’m a caring person."
“What’s the hardest part about being a caring person?”
“People can take advantage of your kindness.”
“If people know you care, and that you won’t let something fail, they know that you’ll pick up their slack.”
"I’m just a fat guy sitting in the cold."
“Why are you sitting in the cold?”
“I’m waiting to go to work. I work an overnight security job. I live in Philly, but I take the bus up here and stay for four days each week. I can’t find work in Philly and I’ve got two kids.”
“Where do you sleep?”
“Starbucks, McDonalds, anywhere I can take a quick nap.”
A new study shows that getting married young is an incredibly smart thing to do. A Lipscomb psychologist, Dr. Steve Stevenson (who is absolutely a real person), has concluded in his recent study that it is incredibly intelligent to get married as young as possible.
"There are two books in America: one for the poor and one for the rich. The poor person does a crime, and gets 40 years. A rich person gets a slap on the wrist for the same crime. They say that the poor person doesn’t want to work and the poor person just wants a handout. Well I picked cotton until I was thirteen, left Alabama and got my education in the streets of New York. I drove a long distance truck all my life and never once drew welfare, never once took food stamps either. I sent four kids to college. But they say all poor people do is sit around with a quart of beer. Look in this bag next to me. I’ve got three things in this bag next to me: a Red Bull, a Pepsi, and Draino, because my drain is clogged. But you see, even if I do everything right, I still have to play by the poor book.”